The Black Company (The Chronicles of the Black Company #1)

Review From User :

Buddy reread with the clueless new mercenary recruits over at BB&B. Under the wicked supervision of our Ever-Stalking Black Company Overlord (ESBCO), of course

And the moral of this reread is :

There is that, yes. Also, my boyfriend Croaker and my girlfriend Lady have been safely stashed away in my High Security Harem for a few decades years now and I think it's high time I discreetly kidnapped some of their fellow mercenaries to keep them company. They have me to keep them, um, entertained, of course, but what with my other 24,548 harem spouses I can't keep everyone, um, you know, satisfied 24/7 and stuff. I have therefore decided to abduct One-Eye and Goblin. I'm pretty sure they will provide Croaker and Lady with hours and hours of most delightful, lively entertainment. Official Court Harem Jesters (OCHJ) I hereby name them and stuff.

That's not exactly what I had in mind, but hey, I guess it would work, too. Sure it would. I bet Lady is going to love the unicorn costume, too.

And now excuse me while I go, um, entertain, Mad Rogan and Sandman Slim and His Furriness and Daniel Faust and Ms Caitlleanabruaudi and Caleb Shepperd and Ace Dante and and and...need I go on Didn't think so.

[Original review]

Actual rating: 15 stars. And I'm not even exaggerating.

Warning: this book is not for the fluffy bunnies, pastel-colored rainbows, romance freaks. If you belong to that scary lovely bunch of people, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, read this book. It might scar you for life. It might even haunt you after death.

There are books with bad guys. Then there is this book. Never before have I encountered such a glorious collection of twisted, evil, morally corrupt, vile, dishonorable, despicable, contemptible, shady characters. The guys are immoral, the chicks are villainous, the weird creatures are blood-thirsty. And all of them are homicidal maniacs! This. Book. A dream come true.

Meet the bad guys: The Black Company.
They're mercenaries. They will do anything for money. Morals Completely irrelevant. Ethics Oh please, don't be silly. We're talking about war here. And crushing the enemy, whatever the cost. Whatever the reasons. Whatever everything. Just follow the orders (-hum- more or less) and cut, cut, cut, slice, slice, slice, hit, hit, hit, kill, kill, kill. Some people sell cute puppies for a living, other get murderous for money. Just a job like any other (view spoiler)[ given the choice, guess which of the two jobs I'd choose {insert homicidal maniac smile here} (hide spoiler)].

Meet the bad guys the bad guys work for: The Lady and The Ten That Were Taken.
There are villains. And then there are VILLAINS. Believe me when I tell you you have never come across such a bunch of deliciously wicked, evil characters:
Bloodthirsty (minimum job requirement #1)
Nefarious (a personal favourite, obviously)
Vicious (yay!)
Merciless (minimum job requirement #2)
Perverted (hooray!)
Cunning (minimum job requirement #3)
Treacherous (the amount of backstabbing, double-crossing and deceitful scheming going on in this book is mind staggering. And positively exquisite).
Ruthless (minimum job requirement #4)
Just plain despicable (YES YES YES YES YES!)

Meet the bad guys the bad guys that work for the bad guys are up against: The Rebels.
These guys here are not the good-hearted rebel type. They're just as heartless, devious, homicidal and unscrupulous as any other character in this story. Yeah, Cook is an equal-opportunity kind of guy. Everyone gets to be evil in his book. It's absolutely delightful. And so very refreshing {insert happy sigh here}.

Dear silly people who thought I would DNF the hell out of this book in less time that it takes to blink: this is one of the best, most engrossing books I have read in recent years. Take that ye of little faith! This book is epic. This book is awesome. This book is so gripping-compelling-thrilling that once you start you just can't put it down. And it's bloody well written. Okay, so Cook's style takes some getting used to. Okay, so the first chapter kind of makes the reader think he/she is a total idiot. And not bright enough to be reading the book. And might be in need of a brain transplant. Because, frankly, nothing makes sense at first. But worry not dear friends, for it all becomes clear as day once you get past chapter 1. What What seems to be the problem dear friends I just scared you away from this book You think you're not clever enough to read it Of course you are. Come on people, time to have a little self-confidence! If I, the everytime-I-try-to-read-epic-fantasy-I-DNF-the-book-after-20-pages freak did it, you can, too!

Still not convinced about this What if I told you flying carpets were involved (guaranteed 100% Aladdin and Jasmine-free)

How can you resist something like that Well let me tell you, you can't.

And the moral of this review is: read this people, you'll be glad you did you better be anyway. I might unleash The Lady and The Taken on you if you aren't. Be afraid. Be very afraid .

· Book 1.5: Port of Shadows I have no idea where this book came from, or what it's about. Pretty sure I never read it.
· Book 2: Shadows Linger
· Book 2.2 (short story): Shaggy Dog Bridge
· Book 2.3 (short story): Bone Eaters
· Book 3: The White Rose
· Book 3.5: The Silver Spike pretending this one never happened.
· Book 4: Shadow Games
· Book 5: Dreams of Steel
· Book 6: Bleak Seasons
· Book 7: She Is The Darkness
· Book 8: Water Sleeps
· Book 9: Soldiers Live

Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hard-bitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead. Until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her… So begins one of the greatest fantasy epics of our age – Glen Cook’s Chronicles of the Black Company.

The Black Company 1 of 5

The Black Company 2 of 5

The Black Company 3 of 5

The Black Company 4 of 5

The Black Company 5 of 5