John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End #1)

Review From User :





I read a lot... I read everyday and go through a number of books every week. Reading as much as I do, I get a real jolly on when I come across a book like this because it is so different from the usual fare. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the book, but the phrase that seems most apt is "brilliantly stupid"with "surreal," "incredibly funny" and "dude that's gross" close behind. "Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies."

"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There's something I don't trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that." ...see what I mean.

As far as the plot, not much to say that isn't in the book description. David and John are a couple of smart, cynical, directionless guys. I think the book does such a great job speaking for itself, that here are a few excerpts from the book where David (our narrator) gives some insight into his worldview/mindset: From day one it was like society was this violent, complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me. Knocked to the floor again, climbing to my feet each time, bloody and humiliated. Always met with disapproving faces, waiting for me to leave so I'd stop fucking up the party.
The wanted to push me outside, where the freaks huddled in the cold. Out there with the misfits, the broken, the glazed-eye types who can only watch as the normals enjoy their shiny new cars and careers and marriages and vacations with the kids.
The freaks spend their lives shambling around, wondering how they got left out, mumbling about conspiracy theories and bigfoot sightings. Their encounters with the world are marked by awkward conversations and stifled laughter, hidden smirks and rolled eyes. And worst of all, pity. AND later... And no one cares. You kick and scream and cry out in the darkness and no answer comes. You rage against the unfathomable injustice and two blocks away some guy watches a baseball game and scratches his balls.
Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark Matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe and they don't know what it is. Well I know. It's apathy. That's the truth of it. Pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives A Fuck. Well these two guys discover that a new drug called "soy sauce" has allowed/forced them to see into an alternative reality/parallel dimension where nasty, evil things with a good sense of humor are looking to take over (See above picture of a Roach-Man from the upcoming movie version). Well from the moment they experience the sauce, bizarroness and a mayhem-o-rama ensues. And I didn't stop laughing until the end.

The plot is utterly secondary to the reading experience and what shines in this book is the attitude of the two main characters, John and David, when they encounter the endless stream of nightmare situations in the book. They simply accept it, deal with it, shout out a lot of sarcasm and penis jokes and just go along for the ride. At least, for the most partthere are a few times when it gets to be a bit much for our heroes. Case in point: "No, no. Keep driving," said a soft voice in my ear. "She will not bite if you keep driving." Fuck that. Fuck that idea like the captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck. However, other than a few understandable meltdowns (like when confronted by cockroach-man assassins), they simply attend to the matters at handno matter how batshit crazy things get ("There was a sound like a garbage bag of pudding dropped off a tall building onto a sidewalk. Robert had erupted, chunks slapping off the walls in every direction.")UH, I did say it was gross didn't I

My advice for this book is to be like John and David and just run with it. Don't try too hard to keep up with the plot and just let the story take you from page to page. I laughed out loud throughout the book and had a blast-o-matic reading it. For those of you still haven't come to appreciate the wit and tone of the book from my previous excerpts, here is my final attempt to win you over (the emphasis is mine): "Somebody said my name, asked if I was okay. I didn't answer, the sound of the commotion dying around me as the heavy monkey of sleep rested its warm, furry ass on my eyelids." Come on, now that is just funny.

In summary, this book is wonderful and strange, has a lot of juvenile humor, a couple of great main characters, and an original story in both plot and tone that I thought was brilliantagain is a stupid sorta way. Highly Recommended!! 4.5 to 5.0 stars.


You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.

NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late.

They’re watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.

You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this:

The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension.

John and I never had the chance to say no.

You still do.

Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.

I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:

None of this is was my fault.

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